How Women’s Imposter Syndrome Impacts the Gender Pay Gap – And Why It’s Not Their Fault [Episode 68]

Today, in episode 68 of the Ditching Imposter Syndrome Podcast, we are looking at the hidden cost of imposter syndrome, why women quit and the gender pay gap grows. This is based on the research study we've just published, the 2024 Imposter Syndrome Research Study.

You can get the full white paper at impostersyndromeresearch.com and this episode is part two in my mini series. Diving into more detail on the key findings from the research study.

In this episode we dive into the hidden link between women's imposter syndrome and its impact on gender pay gap and equity in leadership roles.

We will explore why, as a result, women are more likely than men to feel they don't belong in leadership roles and how this explains why women quit a job they love, meaning you're missing out on their potential.

It's not their fault, but it's harming their performance, productivity and well being, as well as costing businesses and the broader economy billions.

Find out why this silent barrier holds women back, how it affects retention of even your best women, and the essential steps leaders need to take to support their teams, reduce sabbatical requests and close the gender pay gap. This episode is for you.

If you are a business leader, line manager, HR professional, mental health, first aid, a coach or consultant who is passionate about gender equality and closing the gender pay gap, it is going to include what you most need to know from the research study, the 2024 Imposter Syndrome Research study, and what you can do about it. Some of the findings are really shocking and they show that what we doing isn't working and we need to do something different.

I'm going to make sure I give you some suggestions, some of which you can start putting into action today.

So in this episode we're going to cover the hidden link between women's imposter syndrome and the gender pay gap, why imposter syndrome makes women more likely than men to quit a job they love even though both sexes experience imposter syndrome at similar rates, why imposter syndrome becomes a silent barrier to women getting promoted but it's not their fault.

How imposter syndrome affects the retention of your best female employees, the little known impact on women's personal development and how performance review systems and appraisals are failing them due to imposter syndrome and the essential steps leaders need to take to support their teams, reduce sabbatical requests and close the gender pay gap. Let's dive in. So let's start by defining imposter syndrome. I know if you've hung out with me for a while, you'll already know this.

But if you're new to me or you've been hoodwinked by a lot of what's out there in the Internet that pretends imposter syndrome is the same as normal healthy self doubt that happens when we grow and stretch Comfort zones that's nonsense by the way.

From my last 20 years of researching and specializing in this I define imposter syndrome as the secret fear of being found out as not good enough or a fraud despite external world evidence that you're doing well.

And when I'm talking to somebody one to one about imposter syndrome, I will often use the definition that it is the secret fear of others judging us the way we judge ourselves. Self doubt is about what we can and can't do. Our skills, our capabilities, our confidence.

That's why things like pep talks and a bit of mentoring and some skills based training can really boost somebody's confidence.

But imposter syndrome, because it's that secret source, that fear of being found out, even if you give that support, it's not going to be enough to clear it. You need to use different tools. Classic coaching, especially line manager type coaching, is not enough to clear imposter syndrome.

You need to be using different strategies. We will talk about those today. So there's one really obvious reason why imposter syndrome drives the gender pay gap.

So let's get this one out of the way first. When somebody is doubting their worth, they don't think they're good enough.

They're running that secret 3am self talk of what if today is the day that my luck runs out, they realize I don't know what I'm doing and they made a mistake hiring me. The likelihood of that person doing strong negotiations for a pay rise either mid roll or at promotion is really low.

And there is significant data that women are more likely to settle for a lower pay offer than their male counterparts, even if both are running imposter syndrome. This is because men and women tend to handle it really differently.

What we found in the research study is that men and women experience imposter syndrome at almost the same rate.

Men, however, tend to push on down those emotions, the anxiety, the stress, and push on through the fear that on the surface might sound great, but actually what it's doing is causing stress and anxiety, potentially even mental health issues for the men and certainly impacting their performance and the team culture. Women, on the other hand, tended to hold back, to play smaller and to stay safe, they're more likely to overthink it and worry.

That whole fear of others judging us the way we're judging ourselves, that if they aim high for a fair salary increase, then others will judge them as being greedy or egotistical.

So this is one of many bits of evidence from the 2024 imposter syndrome research study of how women's imposter syndrome coping mechanisms are disproportionately disadvantaging them in the workplace. The gender pay gap, gender equality compared with men's coping strategies.

Another factor connected with imposter syndrome explains why women are more likely than men to feel they don't belong in leadership roles. One aspect of this is imposter syndrome is not about mindset.

If you've been trying to use mindset only tools or cognitive approaches to deal with imposter syndrome, then you're only dealing with the surface level symptoms. It's not something you can think your way out of. It is deeper than that. Running at an identity level. Who am I to? What if they find me out?

What if they discover I am not good enough? All of these are identity level statements in the self talk of somebody experiencing imposter syndrome.

Our research showed that when a man gets promoted, they will often, though not always, see this as external validation of their ability, their skills and who they are. And it can decrease imposter syndrome.

When women get promoted, particularly if it's in an organization where there are very few female role models at the most senior levels, then they will often feel like outsiders and they will use words like I felt like a poster child for women in leadership. They feel like a spotlight is turned on them at supernova levels, waiting and watching for them to make mistakes.

In addition, as we discussed in episode 67, the alpha male culture at the most senior levels of so many organizations is something that simply doesn't sit right for most women. So many of them don't want to be part of that fiercely competitive culture and so they feel like they don't belong.

And this makes them either hold back from applying for those senior roles or it can make them quit soon after taking them on. Imposter syndrome also explains why women quit roles they love due to imposter syndrome at much higher rates than men.

As we said, men tend to push it on down and push on through. So with a man, you will often find that his quitting due to imposter syndrome will actually be due to health or mental health issues.

Women will quit a job they love due to imposter syndrome, particularly if they want a promotion, because the secret shame they perceive of going for that promotion internally and not getting it and everybody knowing is too high a risk to take. Remember that light bulb definition of imposter syndrome? The secret fear of others judging us the way we're judging ourselves.

If you are judging yourself daily about not being good enough and worrying that you're going to be found out, just imagine how it would then feel to aim for a promotion and have everybody you work with know if you didn't get it. So women are more likely than men to quit a job they love in order to go for a promotion rather than going for one internally.

And this is one of the reasons why you will be losing your best rising stars, and it might take you by surprise. And spoiler alert, they never mention imposter syndrome in the exit interview and it's totally preventable.

There are two other super common trigger points for women to quit a job they love due to imposter syndrome. One of those is returning from maternity leave.

You've been off for however many weeks or months, potentially even a year or more, and you come back to an organization that's been moving on without you. There will often have been somebody on a temporary basis covering your role.

That whole imposter syndrome thing of what if they find me out and I'm not good enough?

Gets amplified because they will be telling themselves stories about, well, the person covering my role did a really great job and they're so good, maybe the company doesn't really want me back.

You've also got the issue that unless staying in Touch days have been used really effectively and consciously, the woman risks feeling like things have moved on so much without her that she almost feels like a new hire. There's a lot of catching up for her to do, potentially new skills to learn, new clients to get to know about, projects to get to grips with.

And this need to belong to be part of the tribe is really hardwired into women at a primal level, more so even than men. So ideally, you actually want to proactively help the woman to clear imposter syndrome before she goes on maternity leave.

But you certainly want to make sure that she's dealt with it when she comes back and that you have an onboarding program to support her through that learning curve and help her to feel valued and understand that she was missed and that you're pleased that she's returning.

So if you're a coach, for example, and you support women returning from maternity leave, you absolutely need the deep Dive skills to be able to help them with imposter syndrome, because this is one of the most most common points in the entire life of a woman where she will experience it self sabotage and potentially not go back from maternity leave, go for a lower ranked job so there's less stress, go so part time that she can't be found out is not good enough, but then continue to overwork in order to try and prove herself. And the other point in a woman's life where she is at very high risk of quitting a job she loves due to imposter syndrome is menopause.

Technically, perimenopause. Menopause is actually just one day. Perimenopause is the years that lead up to it.

This is partly due to the identity shift as a woman moves out of the fertile part of her life into that new phase of her life.

And it's partly also due to the absolutely horrible symptoms that so many women experience during perimenopause, giving them everything from extreme fog brain to the point that some of them are worried they might have early onset dementia through to insomnia, hot flushes and everything else that comes with it.

At the same time, the way hormones change during perimenopause means that the body becomes more sensitive to cortisol, the body's primary stress hormone.

So anything in their lives that brings in stress is going to further elevate the cortisol, meaning they are stuck in chronic stress and the fight flight freeze response.

And if you've been with me for a while, you'll know that the more stressed somebody is, the more extreme their experiences of imposter syndrome and the self sabotage that comes with it.

This is one of the reasons why at perimenopause so typically around those late 40s, early 50s, you will find so many of your best women in an organization will leave to become consultants, to go freelance, to look after ageing parents, or to set up their own business or become coaches.

This can often be driven by imposter syndrome and you are losing them just at the point where they are ready to give their absolute best in the most senior levels of your organisation. Again, it's totally preventable. Imposter syndrome becomes a silent barrier to women getting promoted, but it's not their fault.

It's easy to think from all of this, oh, if women just pull their socks up and get on with it and be more male about all of this, it would be fine. Remember, the men's coping strategies are causing them harm too and harming your culture. And potentially causing some of your top talent to quit.

Because with men, imposter syndrome is much more likely to turn them into a micromanaging bully boss. But here's a really important way that imposter syndrome becomes a secret barrier to women getting promoted and closing the gender pay gap.

They end up not being top of mind for the best opportunities to shine and promotions.

I remember a few years ago doing a keynote for an international organization and we had a fantastic session, a 90 minute session and some great discussions afterwards. And then at the end they had kind of cheese and biscuits for everybody. It was actually a really, really lovely evening.

And I was talking with two of the senior women who'd organized the event and they were talking about a promotional opportunity at a very senior level that had recently become available. And they'd been asked by the CEO who they thought he should consider for that job.

And as we were standing together, they were chatting about this and they were coming up with names and they came up with five or six names. They were agreeing, yeah, that person would be really great. Yeah, I can really see how they would thrive in this role.

And then I pointed out to them they hadn't suggested a single woman and they looked really shocked and they said, yeah, well, there's nobody that comes to mind. This wasn't because there weren't any great women in the organization.

It was because the coping strategies that those women were using to deal with imposter syndrome meant they weren't top of mind for opportunities. So here's some of what we found from the research study.

Women's imposter syndrome coping strategies mean they're not top of mind for promotions and opportunities to shine. 47% of women avoid the spotlight fearing criticism for mistakes, which means their potential often goes unseen.

55% hesitate to pursue promotions they know they deserve. 22% have turned down opportunities they secretly wanted in the past year. And here's a really big one.

44% of women undermine positive feedback by adding a but publicly criticizing themselves, negating the praise. And in that self criticism is what sticks in people's minds. This doesn't mean the women are broken or they're to blame.

It is simply that the coping mechanisms they are using to succeed despite imposter syndrome are unintentionally holding them back from fulfilling their potential.

This is one of the reasons why it is so important to make sure that you proactively address imposter syndrome as part of any women in Leadership personal development program. As will cover more more in a moment. There's another element at play that becomes a silent barrier for women as a result of imposter syndrome.

From the many years of research I've done, I've shown that there are three amplifiers for imposter syndrome. The culture, the working environment and personal habits.

The work I do with people often focuses on personal habits because that's where we have the most control. That's where our personal power lies.

But you actually need to address all three amplifiers in an organization in order to make the work you're doing and the leadership team and the life line managers Imposter syndrome informed See, imposter syndrome is context dependent, meaning you can take a woman working in one team not experiencing imposter syndrome at all, put them in another team or another part of the organization and suddenly previously dormant imposter syndrome comes up to bite them on the backside, causing them to self sabotage and potentially even quit. Because the culture and the working environment have changed.

This doesn't mean that you should run away from a job that's not serving you, that's triggering imposter syndrome in order to feel better. Because what you actually need to do is clear the hidden drivers for imposter syndrome so that you become immune to those old triggers.

They no longer affect you. But organizations do need to look at all three pillars.

And when I do scalable solutions for organizations to clear imposter syndrome, it's why we always start with a small scale research study so we can identify what the cultural and working environment amplifiers are where you can take action and have the biggest impact most easily and most quickly to help to reduce imposter syndrome levels while you bring in those deeper acting scalable solutions.

And there are many organizational cultural factors that can negatively impact women compared to men, particularly those around driven by the fight, flight, freeze response where the companies got stuck in fight and firefighting and everything being urgent and working environment. I describe that as the practical physical embodiment of the culture.

That can be things like how quickly you're meant to respond to a ping, how you're viewed if you need to leave work at a certain time to pick up a child from childcare, whether there are expectations of extended working hours that you simply couldn't fulfill if you have caring responsibilities which still predominantly fall to women. As we will discuss more in episode 70 when we talk about mental load. So imposter syndrome is affecting the retention of your best female employees.

We've discussed a number of reasons for that already, but another huge one is stress. Stress related illness, sabbaticals leave of absence request.

Our Data from the 2024 Imposter Syndrome Research Study shows that 1 in 10 of your employees is going to think about quitting today as a result of imposter syndrome. Two thirds of them are women. 31% are at high risk of burnout very soon as we'll cover more in episode 70.

So anything in your working practices, the working environment or the culture that is potentially increasing women's risk of imposter syndrome is going to increase their risk of burnout. Our research study showed that there is a causal link.

Episodes 48 and 53 of the Ditching Imposter Syndrome podcast go into this in much more depth, including how women's coping strategies can increase their risk of burnout.

I will put a link to those in the show notes but in essence, one of the key things that you will be seeing is usually a much higher level of women asking for sabbaticals or leave of absence or being on stress related illness as a result of imposter syndrome, meaning that their cortisol levels go beyond what their body can handle.

There's a hugely important factor here called hypervigilance, which is when you're stuck on high alert, your whole nervous system has become hardwired to constantly look for threats. You are stuck in chronic stress, stuck in the flight freeze response for months instead of the minutes it was designed for.

And this is such an important topic that I'm actually going to cover it in episode 71 in a couple of episodes time.

And there's a final reason I want to discuss today about why imposter syndrome is impacting women, increasing the gender pay gap and making us struggle to have true equity in leadership roles. And that is performance review processes and appraisals. They disproportionately disadvantage women.

If a woman is experiencing imposter syndrome, then these processes have a little known impact on their personal development and those systems are failing them. So why is that?

Let's go back to the light bulb definition of what imposter syndrome is that secret fear of others judging us the way we judge ourselves.

Now men can be brilliant overthinkers, but women in general, from our research studies and from what we all know about psychology, are often even better at it.

And they are more likely than men to experience more powerful emotions, negative emotions, when they are judging themselves or experiencing themselves as being judged.

So if you criticize somebody who's already judging themselves, beating themselves up and worrying that they're not going to be good enough and they're going to be found out as somehow a fraud and they don't belong and they're going to get fired and their luck is going to run out. What you're actually doing is amplifying that. It doesn't mean you should never give constructive feedback. Please never say constructive criticism.

Criticism is never constructive. But it does mean we need to redesign our appraisal processes to be imposter syndrome informed.

I'm going to be doing a podcast episode on that very soon, so make sure you have subscribed to Ditching Imposter Syndrome so it shows up in your podcast library wherever you love to get your podcasts. And if you're listening to this on my website, scroll down for the what's on newsletter. Sign up for that and I'll make sure I send you that one.

It's a really big and important topic and I can't do justice to it here, so make sure I think it's going to be episode 72 of the Ditching Imposter Syndrome podcast about why it's essential to make performance review processes Imposter syndrome informed. So that's been an awful lot. That only scratches the surface of how imposter syndrome is holding women back. It's an invisible barrier.

It's widening the gender pay gap, and it's one of the reasons we're struggling to have genuine equity of men and women in leadership roles. What can you do? There are some essential steps that leaders need to take to support their teams.

To reduce those sabbatical requests, to reduce staff turnover, people quitting due to imposter syndrome, and to close the gender pay gap. The very first thing is we have to stop ignoring this. Just because people have coped with imposter syndrome for years, it has actually got worse.

The pace of life means more and more people are living in chronic stress. Imposter syndrome rates the 62% experiencing it daily or regularly. That's gone up by a fifth since before the pandemic.

Comparisonitis is something that we talk about with imposter syndrome, where you compare yourself to others and judge yourself as lacking. That is up at 82% doing that daily or multiple times a day.

And social media has trained us to compare ourselves to others, to other people's highlight reels, and assume that we're not good enough. These are all factors that have made it worse. So we have to stop ignoring this. You need to also then start by removing the taboo.

So I have a dream that we'll get to a stage where asking for help with imposter syndrome is as socially acceptable for asking for help with Microsoft Excel. Well, but right now it's not.

And that is why you need to be able to offer solutions that particularly women can access without having to go through their line manager. So many people think it is going to be career limiting if they admit they're experiencing imposter syndrome. They feel shame.

It's an identity level issue. So it's connected with our sense of shame about not being good enough.

So you need to make sure that the women in your teams can access solutions without having to ask the line manager's permission. Because in actually too many cases, the line manager is actually part of the problem.

And with 62% of your employees experiencing this daily or regularly, you need scalable solutions. You can't afford to send every single one of those to go to an external coach at say five to ten thousand pounds a time.

So you need to grow your in house resources, but they need to be based on something other than guesswork and Google.

You actually need to bring in proven strategies and strategies that work whether imposter syndrome is a small issue for someone or whether it's severe.

You also need to be able to identify which people need that help because they will put a huge amount of effort into masking this and disguising it and hiding it. So this is one of the reasons why any intervention we do starts with a small scale research study.

One of the outcomes from that study is objectively identifying who's experiencing severe imposter syndrome and needs the most urgent help versus who. It's just a kind of a background issue and the interventions can happen at a slightly slower pace.

And we can help you to implement those interventions. And you need to proactively build in solutions for imposter syndrome to identify it and to clear it. Yeah, let's move beyond the coping strategies.

The coping strategies are what are causing the problem at the key trigger points for women. Things like the returning from maternity leave, the perimenopause and getting promoted.

When you proactively build in imposter syndrome clearing solutions for your women in in leadership programs, then you can create breakthroughs that mean they thrive in those senior roles instead of subconsciously self sabotaging and potentially even quitting. And I've got a rotten tomatoes alert moment here. Okay.

Organizations need to stop pretending that wellbeing teams and diversity network volunteers are the answer. They are turning to Google and whatever sources they can find on the Internet to cobble together solutions that can potentially be harmful.

Because there's actually a very direct link between imposter syndrome and trauma.

Trauma can increase the likelihood of imposter syndrome and imposter syndrome can actually lead to something called complex PTSD Post Traumatic Stress disorder. So it can even cause trauma.

And if you've got a member of your leadership or management team running imposter syndrome and they've become that micromanaging bully boss as a result, they can actually cause trauma in their team members as they become a toxic line manager. This is too important to leave to guesswork. You need proven solutions. So what can you do right away today?

Well, you can start with something that's completely free is starting that very first step of collecting your data.

I've turned the research studies that I've run over the last 10 years into a research and science backed diagnostic tool that you can use to understand the impact of imposter syndrome in your organization in four core areas and to measure your organization's readiness for making changes.

You also get a PDF report and a personalized action plan based on your responses and you can go and do that right away as my gift@ditchingimpostersyndrome.com companies. So that is really the very, very first step I would be suggesting you take today. In fact, I'm going to make that your do one thing from this episode.

If you do one thing, if you're interested in support for your organization, go and take that assessment now. It's yours as my gift. Another thing I would strong suggest you do today is to read the full white paper that prompted this episode.

So that is@impostersyndromeresearch.com you can get that and register free, get it as my gift straight to your inbox and potentially then share that with some of the decision makers in your organization.

And finally, it's really important to look at where can you proactively help women to address and clear and prevent imposter syndrome to move beyond the coping strategies that are causing so much harm and build that into your performance review processes to make them imposter syndrome informed. Could you work with us for example, on line manager training?

We have a great course called the Imposter Syndrome Toolkit for line managers to help them to identify and give that initial support for those struggling with imposter syndrome.

We have our Imposter Syndrome Practitioner and Master Coach certification program so you can grow your own in house experts and you've also got enterprise license options for the Imposter Syndrome Hacks app. If you'd like to talk about that kind of thing with me, do that assessment first, please, @ditchingimpostersyndrome.com companies.

And that will then take you to a page with a link to my calendar so you can book a strategy call and we can put together a plan that is tailored to your needs. So I hope that's been useful today. I'm going to be back with the next episode very soon. Episode 69, which is a little bit of a surprise.

This one, how women are paying the price for Men's imposter syndrome. It's a must. Listen.