Menopause & Imposter Syndrome: 7 Reasons Why They Create A Perfect Storm [Episode 66]

Welcome to episode 66 of the Ditching Imposter Syndrome podcast with me, your host, Clare Josa, and I'm recording a special episode today for World Menopause Day.

Did you know that perimenopause is one of the biggest trigger points for imposter syndrome, according to our research study, causing talented women to leave not just their job, but even the career that they loved.

This special episode of the Ditching Imposter Syndrome podcast is both for women who are going through the perimenopause to explain why it's triggering imposter syndrome that may previously have been dormant for you.

And it's also for those who love them, who work with them, for their employers, to find out how to spot the warning signs that someone might need some additional support to stop the cycle and to create lasting change.

You are losing in organizations, many of your best women leaders just at the point where they're about to do their best work to make the biggest contribution of their career due to a combination of perimenopause and impostor syndrome.

In this special episode, we're going to talk about how to spot the warning signs that imposter syndrome and perimenopause might be creating a secret storm for yourself or for people you care about. Seven reasons why this happens. This is science based. This is about biology and the research we've done into imposter syndrome.

My top advice, which, spoiler Alert, in case you don't get to listen to the end, is do not make drastic decisions. Deal with the root causes instead. And you might be amazed how often that decision then changes.

And we're going to wrap up with what you can do as an employer or a colleague or a loved one. So there is this perfect storm effect that happens between perimenopause and imposter syndrome.

I'm going to go into the seven reasons behind that shortly, but some of the really common warning signs you want to look for are some of your most talented women who hit that particular age range suddenly quitting to go freelance or quitting to become a coach. This one is really, really common. I'm going to cover that shortly in reason number seven.

And another sign is they might often ask for carer sabbatical. One of the things that's happening with women in this age group is they can end up with what's called double ended caring.

They are still caring for children, and they're also caring for parents. I don't want to get into the rights and wrongs in this episode of why it's still the majority of this load being carried by women.

The fact is, at the moment, particularly in the UK, it is.

And asking for a sabbatical to carry out your caring responsibilities, particularly if you have an elderly relative or loved one who really needs additional support, that can be a genuine positive thing that someone wants to do, but it can also be a warning sign that they're running away from imposter syndrome. So there are seven reasons, core reasons, why you get this perfect storm between perimenopause and impostor syndrome.

Now, just in case you're new to the terminology, perimenopause is actually the multi year process that leads up to menopause. And menopause itself is actually only one day. It is the day where it's been at least twelve months since your last period.

After that, you are post menopause. So perimenopause is actually what most people mean when they say and talk about menopause.

What you often find around perimenopause is that you will have a woman who has previously been able to cope with imposter syndrome, to handle it, to push on through the fear it causes, to deal with it, to succeed despite it. And if you've hung out with me for a while, you'll know I don't like any of that. Set yourself free from it, so it becomes a non issue, okay?

But they've had what I call the bridge of coping strategies to go over the imposter syndrome gap. That gap between who we see ourselves as being and who we think we need to be to do or achieve something.

And that bridge takes energy, it takes effort, it takes second guessing, it's really draining. But it can work until something happens that opens up the imposter syndrome gap.

That shifts who we see ourselves as being, or who we think we need to be. Any major identity shift in life is going to open up that gap, meaning the old bridge of coping strategies is no longer enough.

And this is why at perimenopause, imposter syndrome that no longer seemed to be a big issue, that could even have been completely dormant for someone, can suddenly rear its ugly head again.

And this is why I am so passionate about supporting people to truly set themselves free from imposter syndrome, rather than just reframing it as a good thing and pushing on through that fear.

Because life events like becoming a parent, the loss of a loved one, a promotion, perimenopause can mean those old coping strategies are no longer enough. So here are seven biological reasons why imposter syndrome and perimenopause are such poor friends. Number one, your progesterone levels drop first.

This generally happens before the oestrogen levels drop. Now, progesterone can have calming effects on the nervous system. It can help to balance out the two sides of the autonomic nervous system.

So they're called the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the relaxation response, and the sympathetic nervous system, which is the stress response, but also the excitement, that kind of drive and oomph response. When progesterone levels go down and we start to lose their calming effects, it gives us an increased sensitivity to stress.

We know from our research studies, and I'm going to put a link to the 2024 research study in the show notes for this episode, that impostor syndrome means that most people experiencing it, 34% at the moment, are experiencing at a level that would be considered severe. It amplifies feelings of inadequacy and self doubt. And you've also got the hormones in the body during perimenopause doing this.

So you can imagine how they work together to amplify each other.

So if someone's running imposter syndrome, they could previously handle and cope with the impact of the progesterone levels falling in perimenopause can make that no longer manageable. Number two, brain fog. I've experienced them myself. It's to the point of worrying that you might have early onset dementia.

You struggle to remember even simple terms. It can be harder to process information. Many women experience brain fog, cognitive fog, as it's formerly called, during perimenopause.

So it's harder to focus, it's harder to concentrate, harder to process and recall information. This decline in cognitive sharpness is not usually permanent. It normally resolves, but we can end up feeling that we're not as competent anymore.

So if you remember, I talk about imposter syndrome being the secret fear that others will find out were not good enough or a fraud. Despite external world evidence that were doing well.

The brain fog in perimenopause can actually mean we are making mistakes and we are struggling to perform.

So whats happening with somebody experiencing imposter syndrome in perimenopause is they can actually see their worst fears being realised in the outside world.

If this is something that you personally have experienced, I have a whole episode for you on why imposter syndrome makes your mind go blank in meetings and what you can do to prevent it. It works incredibly well for that.

Cognitive fog, the brain fog that women can experience in perimenopause so in the ditching Imposter syndrome podcast, in your favourite podcast app, look for episode 33, why imposter syndrome makes your mind go blank in meetings. To explain a bit more about the science behind that and what you can do right now. Number three, insomnia. Oh, my goodness.

Perimenopause insomnia, yeah. So poor sleep. Yeah. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason. A lot of women going through perimenopause will be experiencing this.

It impacts our concentration, our memory and our decision making. We can end up feeling less capable, less confident, and we're more prone to feeling like we don't belong.

We become even more sensitive to things like rejection. All of this amplifies the external manifestation of the things that internally, imposter syndrome means we are scared of happening.

Each woman's perimenopause journey is going to be unique to them.

I know in my own journey, the insomnia at times has been so extreme where three out of four weeks every month, I was averaging under 2 hours sleep a night, maybe waking up 20 times on days like that and weeks like that and three week blocks like that, functioning, just simple functioning, becomes really, really hard.

So if you are secretly scared that they're going to find out that you're a fraud, and you are scared that making mistakes and being visible means that being found out becomes more likely imposter syndrome. Then adding in the insomnia means you are manifesting in the outside world, your biggest fears from the inside world.

So you're more likely to hold back, you are less likely to go for opportunities to shine.

And it's one of the biggest reason why women in this age group, highly talented women with so much to give in their careers, are leaving organisations and careers they love number four. And this one's a real biggie, cortisol. So cortisol, alongside adrenaline, is one of the primary hormones triggered by stress.

It is the stress response hormone in those with severe impostor syndrome. So that's 34% of the population.

According to our latest research study, they already have heightened cortisol and adrenaline levels compared with the general population. Now, perimenopause changes the way the body processes cortisol, making the body even more sensitive to it. So it becomes a double whammy.

You've already got a elevated cortisol levels compared to the general population, and then perimenopause makes it harder for you to regulate those cortisol levels. So you can imagine how this further increases those stress hormones.

There's another problem is that many of the common coping strategies for imposter syndrome further elevate cortisol. For example, the overworking, the overthinking to compensate the four P's of imposter syndrome. My coaching model.

So that's the perfectionism, procrastination project, paralysis and people pleasing. These all further elevate cortisol levels.

When somebody is stressed to the hilt, not only does it put them on a really big fast track to burn out, but it also makes them more likely to make mistakes. It affects the way the brain processes information because it diverts the blood flow to the primal part of the brain.

You are stuck in the fight flight, freeze, fawn response the whole time. So you are more likely to make mistakes and you are less likely to be able to perform at your full potential.

One of the single most important things we can do to support ourselves and to support women going through perimenopause is actually to bring down our cortisol levels. And why don't we just start with ditching imposter syndrome?

Because then it no longer needs to amplify what the body is already doing, and perimenopause's impact on cortisol regulation can increase negative and self critical thoughts. Our latest research study found that already 52% say they get stuck in negative thinking daily.

That figure is even higher for those in perimeter menopause. Then, number five, we move on to the joy of hot flushes, or hot flashes, as some people call them.

So hot flushes at night and night sweats can lead to insomnia, irritability.

People become more likely to pass their imposter syndrome coping strategies onto others, for example, becoming a micro managing bully boss due to perfectionism, one of imposter syndrome's coping strategies. These hot flashes, they also affect performance and productivity, making us feel less capable.

Meaning it's that self fulfilling prophecy, again, is we're scared that we'll be found out as not good enough, but actually it is affecting our performance. There's another aspect of this, though, is imposter syndrome. Because it's an identity level issue and not mindset.

It's not about what we're thinking, but it's about who we think we are. It's closely linked with shame.

If you have ever had a hot flush in the middle of a meeting and you end up literally dripping in sweat and totally red faced, it can feel mortifying. This exacerbates the shame already felt due to the impostor syndrome fears.

So the hot flushes can amplify the stress and that internalised shame that people experience with imposter syndrome. Number six is decreased serotonin production. This feel good neurotransmitter is our happy hormone. This can drop as estrogen levels drop.

This leads to mood swings, anxiety, depression, and it amplifies the experience of imposter syndrome. Our old coping strategies stop working.

And this is one of the critical reasons why we must address and clear impostor syndrome as part of the perimenopause process, if you haven't done so already, because the anxiety and the depression in perimenopause, if you are experiencing them, you'll know they're very, very real and frankly, unignorable. And number seven, that I want to cover today, now, this isn't a biological issue, but it triggers biological issues.

Number seven is the alpha male competitive culture at the highest levels in too many organizations, often women in this phase of life are moving into the most senior leadership roles.

They have been celebrated for their collaborative working approach so far, but at those most senior roles, the collaboration goes out of the window and it suddenly becomes really highly competitive and very driven. An alpha male.

So you remember we talked about the imposter syndrome gap, that gap between who you think you need to be and who you see yourself as being to do or achieve something. And to bridge that gap, if you haven't cleared imposter syndrome, to close the gap, you have to build the bridge of coping strategies.

So this alpha male culture, when you get promoted into that, or even the suggestion of being promoted into it, it opens up the imposter syndrome gap, because who you are, who you see yourself as being, is no longer enough.

And what the message is that you're being given is that who you are and the reason why you've been successful and had impact so far is no longer valued. Either you have to change, potentially going against your core values, or leave.

And since a lot of imposter syndromes pain is actually about our need to belong, this mismatch can send imposter syndrome severity through the roof.

If you're an HR leader and you are seeing senior women leaving to become coaches or mentors, it could be a really big red flag that this is running in your senior team levels, because what women will often do is leave in order to create a job for themselves, where they get to be collaborative, where they get to have those traditionally more recognized as female leadership qualities, rather than having to go in with the hard nosed alpha male hustle bro culture.

This also, this alpha male culture in the most senior levels is one of the three hidden drivers of the gender pay gap, according to our research studies. And there's another way that this excludes women and disproportionately discriminates against them.

At these most senior your levels, working hours often increase. Travel increases out of hours.

Work increases when you have women who potentially have this double ended carer responsibility with both children and elderly loved ones.

If you're requiring them to work much longer hours and to do more work outside of hours, particularly with travel, this becomes impossible for them and you give them no choice but to leave. So those are seven really big reasons why impostor syndrome and perimenopause are not a great mix. And what can you do as an employer?

You can proactively support women in clearing imposter syndrome as part of their perimenopause journey if they haven't already had the opportunity to do so.

This can make an immense difference to both their perimenopause symptoms because they're all exacerbated by stress, by cortisol, and also to their performance and their mental health.

Another thing you can do is if they're going part time, asking for a sabbatical, or leaving, find a way to check that this is truly being done from freedom of choice and not a fear based coping strategy for imposter syndrome. Our latest 2024 Imposter syndrome research study has shown that one in four employees is thinking of quitting this week due to imposter syndrome.

It's one in ten every day. For women going through perimenopause, it's even higher.

You are losing some of your most talented team members because of imposter syndrome, something that is easy to clear with the right tools and strategies, so this could easily be prevented. Another thing you can do is give them ways to contribute in meetings that don't involve a spotlight being shone on them.

So podcast episode 33 from the Ditching Imposter Syndrome podcast is all about how to stop your mind from going blank in meetings due to imposter syndrome.

If you're an employer, you could listen to that episode and look at how you could tune and adapt, the way you run meetings, the way you gain input and feedback to mean that that doesn't disproportionately disadvantage a woman that's going through perimenopause struggling with brain fog, hot flushes, insomnia, exhaustion, or any of the other symptoms. It's really important to focus on flow instead of pushing on through.

When you've got somebody who's already got highly elevated cortisol levels due to imposter syndrome. And then the whole progesterone reduction thing means that the body finds it harder to regulate cortisol levels.

You can quickly end up in something called hypervigilance, where the nervous system gets stuck on wired constantly looking for threats that further increases cortisol levels. That then leads to burnout, and it exacerbates all of the perimenopause and imposter syndrome symptoms.

So the worst thing that a woman in that position can be asked to do is to push on through if your organization if you secretly know that you're running on toxic resilience.

So toxic resilience is asking people to bounce back as though nothing had happened, to just push on through that fear to take potentially fairly negative or toxic working environments and just pretend they're okay. You really need to review the huge negative impact this will have on women going through perimenopause due to the impact of cortisol.

Another thing you can do as an employer is revisit your performance review process. It is essential that all people leaders have had training in how to make appraisals and feedback imposter syndrome informed.

And because of those elevated cortisol levels and the genuine fear that menopause symptoms are affecting performance and productivity, it's essential that you're not accidentally triggering those fears in your feedback systems. If you want to know how to do that, get in touch with me. That's the kind of thing I can help with.

And another thing you can do as an employer is for those women who want it. You can support them in leaning into what is then a traditional wisdom phase of life.

You could, for example, get them trained as certified imposter syndrome practitioners or master coaches to first clear their own imposter syndrome and then support others to do the same, either on an ad hoc basis alongside their other work, or actually specialising in this for your teams to have an impact for the wider organization on the show notes for this episode, you will find a link to the 2024 Imposter Syndrome Research study white paper that is a must read to understand how imposter syndrome is affecting individuals, teams and your wider organization.

Episode 33 of this podcast, why imposter syndrome, makes your mind go blank in meetings and also a link to find out how to get certified as an impostor syndrome practitioner or master coach to clear out your own imposter syndrome first and then learn how to support others to do the same in ways that are fast, fun and effective. So I hope that's been useful for you. If you're experiencing perimenopause and this has resonated with you, please let me know. Get in touch.

And if you're an employer or you've got a loved one going through perimenopause, I hope this has helped to open your eyes for some of the challenges that they're experiencing so you can potentially work with them to find supportive solutions. But if you take one thing away from this episode today, please let it be that now is the time to clear imposter syndrome.

Right now, it doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman, whether or not you've been through perimenopause, you haven't, or you never will.

The sooner you can clear imposter syndrome, the sooner you can get on with having the impact your ideas and dreams deserve with courage, confidence and passion. And no more impostor syndrome coping strategies.