Imposter Syndrome Is A Good Thing. Really? [Episode 62]

Welcome to episode 62 of the Ditching Imposter Syndrome podcast. And today we're talking about imposter syndrome is a good thing. Now, if you've hung out with me for a while, you'll know I don't actually believe that. But it's everywhere at the moment. So if you've ever been told that and it has really graded with you and you've been wondering how on earth imposter syndrome could possibly be a good thing, why people are sharing that advice and what you can do instead, today's episode is for you. Welcome. Now, despite having spent so many years in engineering, I also work really strongly with my intuition and with what my clients call engineer-approved woo-woo. And I have a rule of three. When something comes up three times in my experience of life in a short period of time. It's a sign from the universe or whoever's up there that I need to pay attention. And that is what's happened this week. I am actually re arranging the order of these podcast episodes to squeeze Ease this one in because it's such a gem. Three separate times this week, I have been what I would call wet kippered. So people's almost slapping me in the face with a wet fish about how imposter syndrome is a good thing.

But I actually know how much harm that statement can cause. So do you ever hear that statement on social media, or maybe somebody tells you in a talk that imposter syndrome is a good thing and you wonder how on earth it can be true? They might justify it by saying imposter syndrome is It's a sign that you're growing. It's a really positive sign. It's a sign of a growth mindset. It keeps you humble. It's a sign that you're learning something new. It can motivate you to work harder. Imposter syndrome is the reason how I got to where I am. But you compare that to how you're feeling inside. The chronic stress caused by imposter syndrome, the 3:00 AM self-taught that loses you sleep, that constant niggling anxiety of what if today is the day they find me out and realise I'm somehow not good enough? And my research studies over the last 20 years have shown that imposter syndrome trashes productivity. It destroys performance. It prevents people from fulfilling their potential. It's one of the leading causes of burnout, and it negatively impacts our mental health, emotional health, our physical health, our personal relationships. And there's a really, really shocking figure that's come out for our 2024 research study, which is that one in 10 people will consider quitting their job today due to imposter syndrome.

So how can anyone call this a good thing? Well, all opinions are valid, but I am going to call this one out today that although this statement might come from the heart with the best of intentions from someone, it's almost definitely grounded on inaccurate, unreliable foundations and assumptions. Why do people say that imposter syndrome is a good thing when it so obviously causes so much harm and self impotent and anxiety? Telling people it's a good thing actually invalidates their own personal experience, if it potentially being a really, really not good thing. Telling them they're wrong, adding to their guilt, their shame, their feelings of not somehow being good enough. It makes everything worse. But here's what's really going on. When someone tells you imposter syndrome is a good thing, they are mixing it up with self doubt. Okay, so my imposter syndrome iceberg model, and I'm going to link to that in the show notes so you can go and find out more about it. That explains to us the difference between self doubt and imposter syndrome. And it's really important to know that difference because with self doubt, classic coaching mindset, positive thinking, growth mindset tools work.

With imposter syndrome, they're not enough. So in the imposter syndrome iceberg model from my research studies, I describe self doubt as being about what we can and can't do. Our skills Our capabilities, our experience, our network. Imposter syndrome is about who we think we are. And I define imposter syndrome as being the secret fear of being found out as somehow not good enough or a fraud despite It's the right external world evidence that we're doing well. So when people tell you that imposter syndrome is a good thing, what they're actually talking about is that normal sense of, can I do this that happens with personal growth. That normal sense of stretching a comfort zone, that uncertainty, almost that anticipation of, oh, can I do this? And it would be really exciting if I can. They are not talking about the crippling, silent anxiety that is running through somebody who wakes up every day, terrified that today will be the day their luck runs out. People will realise they made a mistake hiring them, and that today is the day they will finally be found out as being incompetent. That level of anxiety is huge. We found in our research studies, for example, that men are five times more likely to turn to drugs, alcohol, and medication to be able to cope with that chronic stress, that worry, that anxiety, the what-if-ing, and the catastrophizing.

So this is men as well as women. So when people out there are telling you imposter syndrome is a good thing, what they actually mean is that healthy self-doubt and curiosity we get when we learn and stretch and grow is a good thing. That is a sign that we're learning something new. It is a sign that we're growing and it can motivate us to work harder. There's a second aspect to this. When people are telling you imposter syndrome is a good thing, that is almost always people who've not actually experienced imposter syndrome. I know a lot of people bandy around on the Internet. Everybody gets it. Well, they don't. Just because people are feeling a little bit uncertain about themselves, they're doubting themselves, they're questioning, querying their skills, that is self doubt and confidence, which is almost at the surface of the imposter syndrome, iceberg. Imposter syndrome is that sense of identity of who am I lying right there at the bottom. So one way you can tell the difference between imposter syndrome and self doubt is, say somebody is worried about their presentation skills. So you send them on a presentation skills training course.

If that fixes the problem and they become a better presenter and they're more confident, brilliant. It was self doubt, confidence and skills. If, however, they become a better presenter, but they're still sitting there in side saying, what if it goes wrong? What if I present my ideas and they laugh at me or they criticise me and they're toning down their message and they're holding back and they're self-sabotaging? And that secret source of what if they find me out? Then it was imposter syndrome and it's running at at deeper identity levels. So often when people tell us that imposter syndrome is a good thing, it's actually because they've never experienced it themselves. I broke my wrist a couple of months ago. Now, someone who's never broken a bone might sit there and say, oh, yeah, just take a couple of painkillers. It'll be fine because they've never actually experienced how it feels. And they're trying to encourage me. They're trying to help me see the positive side. But because they've not actually had that experience for themselves, they cannot connect with how it feels for another person. It is the same with imposter syndrome. It's one of the reasons why, for example, I don't accept people onto my imposter syndrome coaching certification programmes unless they've actually experienced it themselves.

Because I want them to be to be able to have that deep empathy with their clients rather than coming at it from some ivory tower of, well, I've never had it, so you shouldn't have it either. So that is the other factor that's at play here, is they've never experienced imposter syndrome for themselves. So they've had to guess what it feels like, and they're comparing it with how they feel when they're about to learn and grow. And then there's a third factor running here, which is almost the dark side of the Internet and coaching industry. People who are telling you that imposter syndrome is a good thing are often doing it because they don't know how to truly clear imposter syndrome. So because they don't know how to set themselves free, there becomes this assumption from the unconscious mind that imposter syndrome is incurable, which is not true. I have got a podcast episode for you on that, and there's a link to that episode in the show notes. And if you're listening to today's episode inside a podcast app, it's actually episode 24 of the Ditching Imposter Syndrome podcast. But surely imposter syndrome is incurable.

So because these people don't know how to truly clear imposter syndrome, and all they've got to offer is coping strategies, their unconscious mind has to post rationalise being okay with putting up for it forever. And if they've had to do that for themselves, then they also have to share that message with the outside. Well, they don't know how to fix it. So to be okay with that, they've had to be okay with the fact it's inevitable, it's incurable, they've got to put up with this However, therefore, turning it into a good thing is a fantastic coping strategy. The problem is, though, that this statement that imposter syndrome is a good thing does a lot of harm. As I said earlier, it invalidates people's experience of really struggling with imposter syndrome and the horrendous list of negative things that it brings into your life. It normalises pushing on through the fear of imposter syndrome, which leads to anxiety and mental health issues. It trashes performance. Instead of being able to clear it out to clear out those fears and take inspired action, instead of being able to set themselves free from the worry, the stress, the trauma, the anxiety that it causes, they feel they have to push down those emotions, stiff up a lip, grit of teeth, pushing on through.

This leads to huge harm. And also because imposter syndrome is so closely linked to shame, possibly the most powerful negative emotion, because of its link with our identity, our sense of self and who we are and somehow not being good enough, then if we feel that we can't see imposter syndrome as being a good thing, we blame ourselves instead of questioning that message. And that increases the shame, the guilt, and the feeling of not being good enough. So yes, imposter syndrome might help you to work harder, but that's because you're pushing on through the fear. So that working harder is coming from a place of fear and not love and excitement. Yes, imposter syndrome might be a sign that you're learning and growing, but learning and growing in a healthy way is much better for you and those around you than doing it from a place of anxiety and worry and catastrophizing. And another benefit, allegedly of imposter syndrome that people tout is that it keeps you humble. But here's the thing, is the opposite of imposter syndrome is not blindsided arrogance and Dunning-Kroger, where you overestimate your abilities and you're absolutely immune to feedback.

It's actually just grounded confidence, feeling comfortable in your own skin, showing up as all of who you really are, and then unconsciously giving others permission to do the same. Arrogance and imposter syndrome are totally unrelated. So what can we do differently? Well, if you hear somebody telling you that imposter syndrome is a good thing, you might want to share this podcast episode with them. But also potentially offer them some help because if the reason they're sharing it is because they don't have the toolkit and the strategies to be able to set themselves free from imposter syndrome once and for all, then actually they need hugs and not hate. If it's that the and needs some educating because they've got confused, for example, between the difference between imposter syndrome and self-doubt, there is a free course they can take inside my imposter syndrome hacks app called the imposter syndrome 101 course. It's all in bite-sized chunks, and it takes people through what they most need to know about imposter syndrome, what our latest research studies say, the difference between imposter syndrome and self-doubt, and some starting foundation level things that you can do to set yourself free.

The paid version of the imposter syndrome hacks app guides you through in five minute chunks how to shrink your stress levels, crank up your confidence, and be able to wave goodbye to imposter syndrome and its best friend, Burnout, in just five minutes a day. You might suggest they want to read my book, Ditching Imposter Syndrome, or my new book that's coming out very soon as I record this episode, Coaching Imposter Syndrome, to give them hope and those first step strategies for turning this around. And you yourself might actually want to get trained in how to support others with this. On my coaching certification programmes for imposter syndrome, you actually start by clearing it out for yourself first, then learning how to do that for others. It's a life changing course that students describe as world-class, and they describe afterwards the huge difference it's made for them, their own personal development and growth, the confidence they now feel, and also their ability to help others, not just with imposter syndrome, but with whatever it is that they are doing day to day to make a difference in the world. And above all, if you see or read or hear someone telling you that imposter syndrome is a good thing, and that is not resonating with your experience of how imposter syndrome is, Maybe take that statement as a good thing as your sign, a message from your heart and soul to say, today's the day, it's time to take action.

And take those first steps your sofa clearing out imposter syndrome, for ditching imposter syndrome, for setting yourself free from it once and for all so that you can move forward with courage, confidence, and passion, and your ideas and dreams can have the impact they deserve. Hope that's been helpful for you today. I'm going to slide my soapbox quietly back into the corner. Normal programming will resume next week when we're going to be talking in episode 63 about how to spot the hidden warning signs of imposter syndrome in a team member or client and what you can do in that moment to support them. I hope you have a fantastic week.